Savage Slams Elizabeth Smart

What can you say about the war that hasn’t been said already?! Tell me! Is there anything that you haven’t heard?! Is there anything you haven’t been asked?! Is there anything that someone hasn’t said on talk radio yet about the war that hasn’t been said?

Then say it right now! Get it out of your system!

1-800-449-8255.

Say anything that hasn’t been said, questioned, or heard yet!

Or one -- a scintilla of information. Give it to me! See, I told you that.

So I’m going to talk about “Snow White Raped by a Bum in White Robes”

Now, the reason it’s a good story for me is simple. A) Because we suspected that Snow White had been nine months, uhhh---- Period. That’s A. The people were right all along.

Now we heard she was – from the family spokesman she was making cookies – doing a fashion show – slept holding her sister’s hand.

I said “Horse Crap!”

I’m sick of this public relations world I live in.

I wanna wretch.

My idea of reality is watching a homeless bum puke in the streets.

I’d rather watch a homeless bum puke in the streets and get sick over it than listen to one more public relations flak giving me garbage about anything in this world.

One more smiling man or woman, I think I’ll commit hari-kari!

[Sighing] Ah God, look what I have to deal with every day!

Look what I have to deal with every day! They’re the dredges of humanity.

“Prosecutors charged the self-acclaimed prophet and his wife with aggravated kidnapping and sexual assault in the abduction of Snow White Smart, disclosing for the first time details of the girl’s nine-month ordeal. Charging – Na-na-na-na-na – you know the whole story. Prosecutors contend that Mitchell, a drifter – “

He’s not a drifter! He’s a homeless bum that should have been put in the jail a long time ago! –

“Prosecutors said that when the trio reached the campsite–“ You heard this right?

You want some salacious news this afternoon? I’ll give it too-- If you’re brain dead from all the war talk.

“When the trio reached the campsite, Barzee tried to remove Elizabeth’s pajama’s.”

Oh this is so lewd!

“Barzee threatened to have Mitchell forcibly do it.” “Mitchell then” quote “raped or attempted to rape her or commit forcible sexual abuse against her, with Barzee’s help.” "At some point the girl was restrained with a cable around her foot that was tethered to a tree.”

Wow!

“The couple held Elizabeth against her will at the campsite with little or shelter, water, or food. Then they took her to California where they stayed—blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you know the rest of the story.

“Mitchell told them he considered Elizabeth his wife and that her disappearance was a call from God, not a kidnapping.” That’s a novel excuse. That’s a very novel excuse.

“The DA said that Mitchell now wants to represent himself.”

Yeah, that’s great.

“Mitchell, an excommunicated Mormon –” See that’s a slam at Mormonism – wrote a railing manifesto espousing the virtues of polygamy. The Mormon Church has long distanced itself from polygamy and excommunicates those who practice it.”

Yeah, but there’s a little underground thing there – we all know that.

“Family members have said repeatedly that Elizabeth was brainwashed.” Nonsense! “And that her loss of freewill prevented her from escaping despite several opportunities to do so.”

Alright, maybe, who knows. I don’t know.

“Family spokesman,” here, here’s Chris Thomas the P.R. flak.

With a mocking monotone halting cadence, reads Thomas’ statement verbatim.] “E-liz-a-beth was ta-ken a-gainst her will at knife point. She’s a mi-nor and what e-ver ra-tion-ale used to be-lieve that she was his wife and loved him is gross-ly mis-tak-en," said family spokesmouth Chris Thomas.

“The def-in-i-tion of love is not deg-ra-da-tion – hu-mil-i-a-tion – or rob-bing some-one’s life of con-trol and re-spect.”

Well most marriages that I know, in fact, ARE based upon degradation, humiliation, or robbing someone’s life of control and respect.

In fact, the only marriages that last, seem to be based upon “degradation, humiliation, or robbing someone’s life of control and respect.” It’s what makes marriage survive. [Chuckles, snorts, then laughs broadly.]

I swear to God, I’m telling you the truth! Look I’m not going to read you any garbage! Look at this! “The spokesman said, that “the definition of love is not degradation – humiliation – or robbing someone’s life of control”

That’s like a textbook statement on – on love.

But, I know many marriages that are based upon degradation, humiliation, or robbing.

Some people hate – some people actually – they live for it. Their life finally has meaning. They can blame somebody else for their failures. [Moves to a different topic.]